Adult Party Plan Taking Off

Grown up parties are turning up the heat
Your girlfriend is selling a wild array of toys to shake up things in the bedroom
By Elana Ashanti Jefferson
Denver Post Staff Writer
DenverPost.com

“Girls night out” is taking on a whole new meaning.

Colorado women - whether college-aged, coming into retirement or someplace in between - are increasingly giggling their way through in-home, Tupperware-style sex-toy parties in which gal-pal saleswomen coax away inhibitions by passing around products with names like Glow Boy, Honey Bunny and Magic Monarch.

Sexual-health experts, along with the companies profiting from these grown-up girls nights, say their wildfire popularity reflects an evolution away from the sexual revolution when women simply fought for the freedom to express their sexuality without retribution, to an even more open-minded approach to intimacy. Today, women want control over what happens in the bedroom, and couples realize lasting relationships blossom from lasting sex lives.

During the past three years, the number of Colorado women working as sales consultants for the Las Vegas-based company Passion Parties Inc. jumped from three to 111. Each of them totes creams, perfumes, gels, toys and lingerie to between two and eight all-female shindigs per month. And the Baton Rouge.-La.-based company Slumber Parties has 180 consultants working in Colorado with some visiting as many as four parties a week.

“I have another job but, I love this job,” says Denver Passion Parties representative Brook Staebell. “It’s the most fun I’ve ever had working.”

About a dozen women sipped sangria and talked fashion and reality television at a Hilltop home recently as the man of the house scurried away with the kids. As soon as the family car pulled out of the driveway, Staebell opened a black suitcase to reveal an array of products bearing names like Nubby G and Pure Satisfaction.

“You won’t be embarrassed, but there will be lots of giggles,” she said. The “show” moved from a naughty icebreaker to an explanation of each of the items for sale. Later, orders were taken in private. Purchases arrived in the mail about a week later. Credit card statements read the name of Staebell’s business, “BDS Promotions,” not “Passion Parties.” Word-of-mouth and consultant websites (lovesliaison.com) generate new parties all the time.

“I wanted to make sure that every woman, regardless of what they know about these parties, could feel excited about coming together and learning how to enhance her relationship,” says Pat Davis, Passion Parties president. “The biggest thing women do is walk away from these parties with more knowledge about their bodies and their relationships.”

Davis has been married 44 years. She’s one reason photos of gray-haired couples in pajamas sprinkle the pages of Passion Parties catalogs.

Tawnya Lehtinen of Arvada hosted a Passion Party last summer. “My girlfriends and I might occasionally sneak off to a toy store but getting together in a comfortable environment just seems to make it more fun and open,” she says.

Newlywed Monique Bartolo turned the event into her bachelorette party. Bartolo hired a bartender and a caterer for her grown-up girls night. Her guests ranged in age from 25 to 53.

“I’m an older bride so going out clubbing isn’t really my thing,” says Bartolo.

Single women find something appealing about the parties too.

“They give you options that you probably never thought about,” says Eileen Hall, a Denver graphic designer. “I think if you never had any (sexual) experiences, the party might be very overwhelming. But I thought it was fun.”

Staebell makes a percentage of the profits from the products she sells. She also gets a cut from the sales of the newer consultants she’s recruited. “The lowest amount I’ve ever made at a party is $150, and the highest is $750,” she says.

The best-sellers? Super Deluxe Smitton is a soft plastic massage mitt designed to “feel like a 100 butterfly wings tickling your skin,” and the Pulsing Orbiter, a five-speed remote control toy.

Slumber Parties consultant Gerri Kassel is a mother of two who spent the past four year’s becoming one of that company’s top regional distributors.

“People are very receptive to having parties and coming to the parties,” says the former malpractice insurance company manager. Kassel stashes her stock in duffel bags in the garage of her Parker home to prevent her two small children from rifling through it. Like Staebell, she makes a profit from sales and also takes a cut from the consultants she’s recruited. That alone can be as much as $1,000 in extra income each month.

Nationally, Slumber Parties has grossed roughly $54 million this year.

Denver-area relationship counselor and sex therapist Lisa Thomas says that success comes from the fact that women now want to learn about sex and talk about sex without feeling like they’re doing something dirty. Consultants also make the topics fun and enlightening while ensuring the buying is anonymous.

“As a relationship evolves, people grow and grow up,” Thomas says. “The idea of making sex different, and finding the language to talk about it, really can push people to grow.”